Ah teenage... what a lovely time for parents of teens. During their teens journey to self discovery, moms and dads get to sit and watch as their teen transforms into a butterfly they'd rather seal the lips of. Teens want to push the boundaries they've known all their lives and find themselves. However, when they push and pull against their parents they often find themselves at a deadlock. It's a battle of words more often than not, between the parents and their ward. 

Teens will go the distance to get what they want. Often they're going to end up talking back at parents. This shows disrespect for the parent and reflects a very obnoxious behavior on the kid’s part. However, this is how kids, especially teens, assert themselves. Your little angels are growing up and they will try to find their own footing within your domain. Since this is their learning period they are bound to make mistakes before realizing the right way to express their individuality and freedom. Parents should learn to deal with teenagers talking back, instant of giving up and waving a white flag. There has a to be a middle ground where teens feel empowered but not at the expense of their parents’ respect. How to deal with teenagers talking back though? 

Timing is key 

Pick the right time to deal with your kid’s habit of talking back at you. Parents need to prioritize the ways in which their kids misbehave and deal with them, accordingly. For instance, if a teen does not clean his/her room, and swears and mumbles whenever asked to, then the parent needs to realize that mumbling is harmless. In fact, it is a way of expression teens use when they know they can’t argue with parents. However, there’s a fine line between mumbling and having a full out screaming fit. Swearing is not acceptable. Parents should tackle swearing firmly and not allow it to becomes a habit. Kids talking back to parents is not a new problem, it’s plagued parents before you and you’ll get through it if you play your cards right with your teens. Using too much force will only land you into another aggressive situation. 

The right and wrong  

Define the limits of any behavior which is acceptable and clearly state that which is not acceptable. Parents should wait for the right time to explain, unambiguously, to their teens about what they can and can’t do. Also explain the consequences of any unacceptable behavior, like swearing and lying. Clarity is very important while dealing with a teen who has a habit of talking back. Parents need to clearly define the limits and consequences, so that the teen cannot take advantage of a vague message.

Avoid over-reacting and keep your poise and stay calm. There is no point of getting all riled up and throwing tantrums at your kid. In front of an angry and screaming teen, you need to stay stable, so that your message is sent in an authoritative manner. Sometimes tension escalates and you feel like losing your composure. The best thing you can do is walk away from the fight. Tell your teen that you will talk when they’ve has calmed down.

Don’t become a teen yourself 

Control your triggers or reactions while dealing with a disrespectful teen. Parents should be aware of their push buttons and keep a firm control on them to avoid any overreaction or outburst from their side. It is hurtful for parents when teens say silly things in the heat of  the moment like ‘I hate you mom!’. But the likelihood is that your teen doesn’t mean more than half the things they’re saying, and after the moments gone they won’t remember most of what they said in anger. Do not get upset or react irrationally. Understand the situation and try to see your teen’s perspective. The likelihood is that if you find a middle ground to work on your teen will not be talking back at you and instead stay within your spectrum of control.