Single parenting is tough; bringing up a child or children on your own is a challenging position to be in. The developmental, social and financial responsibility of bringing up a number of children alone can be back breaking. In this scenario dividing time, money and attention equally among all the children is an impossible task to achieve and its circumstances like these which have given birth to issues like the “middle child syndrome”.

Middle child syndrome is a psychological condition where psychologists believe in a family with several kids, the middle child is mostly compromised with parents’ time, affection and attention. In case of a single parent the situation can be even more precarious, as the parent is stretched thinly over a number of small heads. According to the latest statistics, number of two-parent families has dropped dramatically across the U.S. over the last decade. While 160,000 families with children have been added to the economy over this period, only 1.2 million out of these are two-parent families.

So let’s see how this situation aggravates the middle child syndrome characteristics.

Emotional impact

Effects of birth order were first highlighted by an Austrian psychoanalyst, Dr. Alfred Adler. According to Dr. Alfred, himself a middle child, believed that birth order can influence the child’s character dramatically.

He demonstrated that middle children often feel left out and ignored, unlike what their older and younger siblings feel. Older children usually get the exclusive attention of the parent due to being the first and only one in the start, while the youngest enjoys being the baby of the family. This often makes the middle child feel like they have nothing special to bring to the table. This may explain the reason why middle children are more prone to depression and feelings of loneliness.

Personality

However research into the personalities of middle children has also shown that middle children can be more outgoing and flexible in their attitude than children of other birth orders. Explanation for this might be that middle children learn survival tactics sooner than others and learn to handle and negotiate situations better. Middle children are also known to be the “rebels” of the family. They learn to act out in order to get attention and then get used to living life like that.

The exceptions

A study conducted at Stanford University revealed that “gender” is a huge exception when it comes to understanding the middle child syndrome. If the middle child is a different gender from the older and younger siblings, the chances of them being affected by the “Middle Child Syndrome” are very low. Reason being that if the middle child is different from the gender of the first child, he will be treated like a first child.

How to counter the “Middle Child Syndrome”?

To tackle this syndrome parents need to make the middle child feel important and a valued member of the family. Try to make room for the middle child in your day and make special efforts to include them in family discussions, so that they feel heard. Try your best to instill as good a sense of self-worth as you can. Such efforts of single parent and children may seem like an overwhelming amount of work but it’ll be worth it in the long run.