Nothing is worse than hearing your child say that he hates you. The pain these three words cause is hard to put in words. It’s like falling down to earth from a heighted place. These words takes away your parenting pride and leave behind the guilt that you have failed to do enough, and that is why your kid hates you. If you have faced this situation, then it’s important to recognize it as part of parenting challenges and respond accordingly. Your kid may have said this in anger, but your reaction can make everything more complicated. You must continue positive parenting and deal with the situation tactfully. Here are a few points that will most definitely come in useful if you ever find yourself dealing with such a situation.

Do Not Hurt Him Back

Some parents become so angry feel so hurt on hearing their teen say he hates them that they end up retaliating with full force by retorting with an equally hurtful remark like “I hate you too” or “I should have never had you”. Some short-tempered parents even punish teens right away. This only makes things worse. The best response is to stay calm. You can very politely say that even though you hate me, I still love you a lot, or you can say something funny to lighten things up like “Don’t worry my love is enough for both of us”. Teens obviously do this out of anger for not getting what they want, and these emotional outbreaks are always temporary. You just have to be mentally prepared for them and keep your calm. If it’s difficult for you to remain cool, then just walk away from the situation for a while until you feel calm and composed.

Never Take It Personally

The first thing parents think upon hearing their kids tell them they hate them is that they are horrible parents and that they have badly failed to keep their kids happy. This may be an emotional moment for you, but never take it personally. Saying that I hate you does not mean he actually hates you. He is just angry so there is no need to take it literally. So refrain from over-thinking about what he said and assuming that you have failed as a parent.

Focus on What Made Him Angry

You should focus on what made your kid so angry that he ended up saying this. He may have had a rough day, or just came home after a huge fight with a close friend. May be he got insulted by the teacher in front of everyone. He might also be angry on you because you refused to give him your car, or didn’t give him permission to go on party with friends. See where his anger is somewhat justified and support him, but make sure you don’t unnecessarily give in to his demands that you don’t agree with for his own well-being or on account of principle.

Talk About It When Things Get Settled

One thing teens surely need to learn is that saying things like “I hate you” is never acceptable. Just sit down with your teen after things get settled and tell him that this is not the way of showing anger. He may say something else to show his anger like; I am angry at you for not doing this” or “I do not like it when you do not allow me to visit my friend” etc. Tell him how much you love him, and how hearing him say such a thing makes you feel sad.