‘Good job!’ You might think this phrase is just to encourage your kid when he hits a homerun or gets his shoelaces tied right but it could be doing a lot more damage than you think. Praising kids might be giving your child’s ego an encouraging stroke rather than teaching him the real meaning of a job well done. Parents often go overboard while praising their child. Growing praise might be giving your child an unfair yardstick with which he judges himself. It is not the constructive praise which encourages your child that you are aiming at.

When Is Praise Good?

Most parents’ idea of how to praise your child is pretty obscured. Praise is good only when it is realistic. If there is a good reason behind your praise, you give your child a good idea of what they are and what is their potential. It is better to praise your child only when they earn it. The praise will re-enforce your child’s effort and encourage them to do even better in the future. Be specific when you praise your child. Make sure they know what they are being praised for. It helps them realise their potential but do prepare them to believe they are infallible. It will help them digest future criticisms, disappointment and losses more easily.

Encouraging Your Child

Encouraging your child helps boost their confidence and helps you to select which kind of behavior you want to develop in your child in the future. If your kid returns home with a bad grade, appreciate them for their effort but encourage them to do better next time.

Mirroring

There shouldn’t be a wide gap between your praise. Encourage them for their achievements however small they might be. Let them know you are watching them and their achievements. Admire her for her achievements. Ask her to show you her dolls or his collection of rocks. Comment on how orderly you think they are and how well they are protecting them.

Listening

Most of us parents are overscheduled and distracted. We hear but we barely listen to what our kids have to say. Listen to what they have to tell you and encourage them.

Reinforcement

You might ask your child to retell a joke because you found it really amusing or sing a song again. Tell them you thought they were great and want to hear them sing or tell the joke again and again.

Questioning

“How did you choose the colors for that picture? What did you use to make those lines? It’s so unusual, interesting, real, pretty, cheerful…” Questions like these will make your child feel appreciated and encouraged.