Some people will hear you say something while others will listen intently to the words coming out of your mouth. Which person will you feel rather comfortable with while sharing your story with; the hearer or the listener?

The trademark of both these categories of people is that one person will hear you out and not really comprehend what you might be trying to say to them. On the other hand, a person belonging to the other category will listen to you, make a mental diagram of your problem, and give you valuable advice in return.

Why is this so? Because a listener pays careful attention to another person’s words with the intention of providing help.

The above example is typical of adult interaction, but this does not mean that you have to act differently with children. It is equally important for you and your child to establish a healthy communications network at home that will enable you to listen to your kids attentively.

There are many reasons why listening to kids is important.

Listening with Your Heart

A time-tested method identified in human interaction is that listening to your child makes them listen closely to what you are saying. This ancient wisdom is summed up well by the theory “To every action there is an opposite and equal reaction”.

“The most important way to talk so your child will listen is to listen to your child,” says New York City psychoanalyst Gail Saltz, who has authored several books, including Getting Smart About Your Private Parts.

“If they feel listened to, they are more likely to be able to listen and will feel more understood, have more trust, and be more interested in what you have to say,” she added.

Parents who can swallow the bitter ego pill are in a better position to comfortably talk to their offspring and also hear them out on important personal issues.

The Voice inside Your Head

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) says that every adult should consider and contemplate the words that come out of their mouth before responding to the queries of a child.

Grown-ups can sometimes lose their cool that would make them give an angry and bitter response to kids. Words can sometimes be sharper than a sword and kids might not be able to forget your harsh tone even years after the incident has passed.

The AAP further said, “Thoughtless comments or jokes that seem incidental to you may be hurtful to your child.” It is not a good idea to blow apart the self-esteem of kids by being ever critical all the time.

Setting the Language Priority Right

Grown-ups have been grown-ups for such a long time that they tend to forget that everything that they say is not understood by kids.

Before you listen to your children, it is also important to know how to talk to them. Try to remember how you felt when an adult listened to you when you were a small helpless child. By doing so you would realize that kids think on a different frequency than adults.

Have mercy on the young souls because their vocabulary and expression is not as developed as yours. Give them a chance to learn it the right way.

Yelling Is for the Weak

Children thrive in a stable environment and yelling adults cannot provide a peaceful atmosphere at home. You should not lose control by stressing your vocal chords with all that shouting. This method is not a solution but is rather a problem that you should avoid altogether.