What children of divorce most want and need is a healthy relationship with both parents. Many parents get so involved in their conflicts that rather than shielding their kids from them, they start dragging them along. In extreme cases children are manipulated by one parent to hate the other one despite the kids’ innate desire to love and be loved by both their parents.

In order to create their parental identity, some parents expect kids to choose sides. Parental alienation (PA) is an act of deliberately alienating a child from a targeted parent by the other parent. This leads to the child suffering devastating psychological consequences causing the Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). Such children often live lives riddled with malicious and derogatory remarks about the targeted parent. This causes them to harbor feelings of hatred and animosity towards the targeted parent. But as they age, they maintain guilt about feeling this way for their parent.

Behavior to Alienate a Parent from the Child

Behavior to alienate a targeted parent leads to the child’s social impairment and affects the quality of life they lead as adults. Research tells children of divorce are vulnerable to emotional damage. At such a time when they are a parent bad-mouths the other parent or limits access to them, it borders child abuse. In fact, many psychologists think parental alienation is child abuse and can be caused by one parent erasing the other parent from the life and mind of the child (forbidding discussion and pictures of the other parent). Parents are often able to achieve it by forcing the child to reject the other parent or creating an impression that the targeted parent is dangerous. Furthermore, the child may be forced to choose between his or her parents and belittling or limiting contact with the extended family of the targeted parent.

When These Kids Grow Up

Research on children who believe they have been alienated from one parent by the other reveals that parental alienation is no less than child abuse. Emotional abuse exists within these kids as they are growing up in the form of rejection, neglect, isolation, corruption, exploitation, verbal assault and over-pressurizing.

Parental Alienation and Child Abuse Prevention

Clearly the best way to prevent this from happening is to allow the children of divorce to maintain a loving, health relationship with both the parents. Kids should not be pressed to choose sides. Instead they should be given the freedom to love and be loved by both the parents.