It’s easy to forget how much our children love and cherish their bond with us when they’re in their all-too-common difficult and defiant mode. We often react to bad behavior in children in a way that gets them to stop misbehaving, but only for a while. In fact, the temporary calm is followed by a raging storm, characterized by rebellion and obvious disconnection. This storm, however, can be avoided. All you need to do is to take a more gentle and empathic approach to disciplining your offspring.

Foster the Connection

No guide on how to discipline your child can be complete without the most basic and essential tip: develop a strong, supportive connection with your child. You cannot get anywhere in your mission to discipline them without investing in the bond that connects you to them. Make a genuine and dedicated effort to understand them, respect their point of view, and give them your time, love and attention. While this may not seem like much, it sets the foundation for purposeful parent-child interaction.

Set Limits

Unless clear expectations have been set and conveyed, you may not have much luck in transforming your kid’s bad behavior. Setting limits is an effective way to let them know what’s okay and what’s not. To let them know that you’re serious, be firm though at the same time ensure that your tone is calm and kind. If they’ve got something to say, hear them out and then explain to them why the limits are being put in place and why it matters to you that they respect them. Try not to instill fill in them through communication of punitive consequences.

Offer Empathy

It is extremely important that you remain gentle and loving towards your kids when disciplining them. If they’re breaking the rules and being difficult, don’t rush to punish them. Understand that these are simply the symptoms of the actual problem, which could be anything from anger and depression to hurt, need for attention, stress, etc. Work on finding the real problem and taking care of it. Once the problem is dealt with, the symptoms are likely to disappear themselves.

Get Them to Laugh, or Cry

Teaching discipline to kids may be serious business, but it doesn’t have to look that way. You can help them develop a habit of respecting limits and doing the right thing while teaching and learning experience look like a game. Have fun together while learning about various dos and don’ts. If the laughing approach doesn’t work, then clearly there’s something preventing them from connecting to you. Try to find out what that is. In most cases, it’s due to suppressed emotions such as anger, depression, hurt, etc. Get them to vent their feelings by encouraging them to cry. Hugging them is a good way of doing that, as it provides them with a sense of security.

No matter how difficult your child is behaving, always remember that they’re not your enemy. You need to be patient with them and see through the misbehavior. Chances are what you’re seeing as misbehavior is actually them calling out to you for help, love, affection and attention.