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Speaking about the challenges of raising adolescents, Mark Twain once said, “when a boy turns 13, put him in a barrel and feed him through a knot hole. When he turns 16, plug up the hole”. When parents think about their kids growing into teens, they begin to get worried. Thoughts of their teen being involved in reckless driving, breaking curfew, shoplifting, arguing endlessly and disobedience start to haunt them. Parents and teenagers can't tussle and expect the problem to be solved.
All teenagers rebel at some point. According to research, during adolescence the prefrontal cortex of the brain, which is present behind the forehead , acts as a thinking cap or a judgment center which helps teenagers analyze the world more realistically. Apart from developing an identity crisis, teenagers have the added responsibility of dealing with peer pressure at school, media influences and hormonal changes that they are undergoing. During this time, teenagers want to be taken seriously and treated as adults. If not communicated with, appropriately, these teenagers can become rebellious and go down a path which they would regret later in life. Keeping that in mind , here are a few things parents can avoid, while speaking with their rebellious teenagers:
It is easy to start a war of the words with your teen. Research proves teenagers are hot-blooded. They feel threatened when spoken to in a loud voice which causes them to react irrationally. Regardless of how absurd the state of affairs might be, parents should suppress their anger and learn to be tolerant. Anger management for teens and parents are programs run across the country that can provide the necessary help to curb this problem for both demographics.
Parenting experts are of the view that a major cause of conflict between parents and teens is the fact that parents, in most cases, do not take seriously what their adolescent has to say to them. Turning a deaf ear to their concerns or laughing at their ideas will only make matters worse. Be a good listener when your teen discusses a problem. They might actually have a valid point!
Establishing an effective line of communication with your defiant teen will not only help curb the hostility but also provide a platform where teenagers can freely voice their concerns . This would allow parents to take appropriate measures to sort out any unresolved issues.