Most of the parents complain that their teenage boys/girls have no regard for authority, but there is hardly anyone who tries to find out the reason behind this behavior. Yelling at them, beating them, punishing them or showing anger might be a temporary solution, but this will not work in the long run. The problem needs to be properly understood and dealt with appropriately. Here are a few tips to go about the process of handling a rebellious teen.

Find the Root Cause of the Rebellious Behavior

There must be a reason behind the rebellious behavior of the your teen. It is your job to dig out this reason. It may be due to peer pressure, or it might be his/her way of getting your attention. Remember that teens go through hormonal changes which can also contribute to the unpredictability of their behavior. Low self worth, problems at school, divorce or death of parent, recent break-up etc. are some other factors that can fill the child with rage or take away his/her regard for authority and rules. You have to figure out what it is that is disturbing your teen. The best way to do this is by increasing your communication with him/her. If this doesn’t work, then talk to his teacher or kids in his friends circle in order to get a better idea about why he’s/she’s behaving the way he/she is.

Show some Respect

How can you expect someone to give you respect when you are insulting them everyone now and then? Some parents yell at their kids in front of their friends, which is really embarrassing for them. So, if you want your kid to respect you, you should treat him/her with respect and compassion. Never yell at him/her, or call him/her bad names. Also, avoid a confrontation when your anger is at peak.

Understand Teen’s Desire for Freedom

Teenagers want freedom and this is what most of the parents do not understand. Your teen may still be a child for you, but the reality is that he/she has grown up, and he/she wants some space. So, it’s time to show some flexibility in your behavior. Let them have late night party once in a while, allow them to make their own decisions, let them buy their cloths, allow them to spend weekend at a friend’s house. Most importantly, give them privacy. Do not sneak into their room or check their phone records unless you’ve got a strong suspicion about something being up.

Set Rules and Stick with Them no Matter What

Setting rules is easy, but the part when you have to stick with them is where most of the parents fail. Communicating these rules and the consequences of breaking them is something that can help you handle a rebellious child to a large extent. For instance, make it clear to them that if they break a rule like tasting alcohol, they will lose their pocket money for two weeks as punishment.

Be Polite and Strict at the Same Time

Excess of everything is bad, so try to create a balance between politeness and strictness instead of becoming an extremist. There are times when you must be polite like when your teen is facing an issue at school or is upset about anything, but there are certain things you should never compromise on. Remember you are the boss at your home, so if you feel that the teen is crossing his/her limits, then you need to stop him/her. There are several cases where parents avoid rebellious behavior of kids until the situation gets out of hand. This is what two researchers, namely Dr. Henry Harbin and Dr. Denis Madden, found out in their study which was conducted on the cause of violent attacks by teens on their parents.

If you want your kid to change his/her behavior, then you must start by changing your behavior. There is still that sweet, innocent and obedient child inside that rebellious teen of yours; you just have to find that child and help him/her surface.